Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate anything with your
child. Setting clear expectations regarding what's acceptable behavior
and what isn't imperative to successfully teaching your child right from
wrong. If the parameters are muddled or the child learns that in one
situation the rules hold true yet in another situation the same rule
does not, it makes for confusion and frustration on both sides.
Sit down with your child well in advance and line out the expectations
and consequences of misbehaving or a misdeed. Make it clear that in no
uncertain terms is there any room for negotiation at the time of the
infraction, and that should such a behavior occur you intend to be firm
in your discipline. Rules regarding your child's safety, health or
well-being should have no room for negotiation when being set or
enforced. Other rules can be openly and honestly discussed with your
child and an agreed upon action should be forged that both parents and
child can agree upon. If necessary, make a contract between parent and
child. Lay it all out in black and white, in language your child can
clearly understand. For younger children, you might want to develop a
good behavior chart within the contract, and for each week that goes by
without any infractions being noted, a favorite or special activity
might be earned. The connection between good deeds and special time
with mom and/or dad might be just the currency they understand.
But all children need to understand that disciplining them is your way
of teaching them what's acceptable behavior and what isn't. It may seem
as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know
that such parameters are meant for their well-being, health, safety, and
enable them to grow into a mature person capable of making wise
decisions.
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